Maybe you don't have ADHD: a letter of hope to a loved one

Maybe you don't have ADHD; maybe you're overwhelmed. You're overstimulated, overthinking, worried, stressed, or burned out. You might shut down, freeze, stare blankly and not communicate verbally, or even leave the room. But perhaps these are just reactions to situations that don't make you feel safe or at ease. You're uncomfortable and you go into survival mode because of a perceived mental or social threat and are trying to survive it. Maybe there's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken. You don't need a diagnosis or to be sold a medication to make you better.

I wish I had known sooner what I learned as an adult: how to use mindfulness and intentional techniques for coping with overstimulation and overthinking. I learned to boost my self-worth and build confidence by taking one small action at a time. I relieved the overthinking then I learned to feel proud of myself and give myself forgiveness for not knowing sooner, for not taking action because of overwhelm. I learned to group similar tasks into categories, then take micro-actions—something so incredibly simple. Whatever was most pressing, doing it relieved the most stress. When I felt better, I gained more energy and motivation. I took time to rest and feel proud of what I accomplished. Not that I did the most things, or that the things I did were perfect or exactly as I expected. But because I didn't stay a prisoner to my thoughts; I took back control. I don't need to stay in survival mode. I'm safe and capable of getting through challenges, feeling empowered afterward, and building momentum once I start. I recognized that worry and negative self-talk weren't serving me.

Strategies for Managing Stress and Building Momentum

But how could I tackle the most stressful or uncomfortable things when I have the most energy and how can I get support when I don't? What feels stressful, and how can I leverage what I know about myself to do things when I'm most likely to get them done? I then examined how I was fueling my energy and studied how I could improve my nutrition, stretch for mobility and stress release, and prioritize my sleeping, rest, and recovery—taking time to sit in stillness with my flowing thoughts. What was I doing that was causing delays causing stress to build? What influences weren't serving me? How could I balance my life so I could make time for what matters most and energizes me? How could I manage the things I needed to do that drained my energy? I searched for techniques, strategies, and tools that made me think, "Does this make me feel better?" Things to consider: maybe you could use some space for a timeout or a mindful self-care break to recharge.

And then I began to feel it was possible to get through it, to feel proud of myself and confident that even when my energy is low, I had the knowledge and leverage to overcome challenges. Then I found my peace, began to thrive, and looked forward to overcoming obstacles. My mind opened to possibilities: if I could overcome any obstacle, what goals should I set? I then considered, what do I enjoy doing that gives me more energy and fulfillment? How can I share my story and encourage people to help themselves break free from the cage of thoughts that imprisons them from growing and thriving? To believe in themselves again, to find what fulfills them, and to use what they learn to propel themselves forward to set and reach new goals. I then realized that what gives me energy is where my purpose lies. My story is my purpose. Overcoming my struggle is my purpose. I can rely on honestly assessing emotions to give perspective and guide me to becoming more attuned with myself and others.

Your Story and Your Purpose

What's your story, and what challenges led you to where you are? Did you use discomfort to learn and connect with empathy and humility, or did you hold onto negativity in resentment from your struggle, stifling your growth? Change the narrative of your past and write a new identity for yourself to begin this next part of your jouney. Release what keeps you stuck. Do what lights up your heart. Challenge yourself to learn and grow through your struggle so you can share your story. I love you.